i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
