Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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