Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize