Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
