Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
