He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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