Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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