Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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