why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
