john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
