Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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