she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
