just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
