all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
