i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
