my shit smells like andre
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
