We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
