no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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