I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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