I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
