I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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