Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
