My liver just broke up with me...
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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