this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
