suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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