i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
