I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
