So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
