Don't EVER smell your tampon
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
