I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
