Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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