have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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