so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
