I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize