Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
