You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
