Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
