are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
