No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
