Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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