using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
where are my pants?
in the oven.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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