We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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