and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Randomize
