That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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