I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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