thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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