you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize