I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize