My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
