4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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