mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize