Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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