First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
