Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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