Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
