oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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