he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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