Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
