You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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