He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
