my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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