So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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