it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
