Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
