Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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