you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
