Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
