Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
