piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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